I lay here tonight holding my darling Bug, crying tears of joy & relief. Tears of “I’m so happy this nightmare is over”. Tears of “I knew it couldn’t be real”. Tears of “Thank goodness our Bug will have a long & happy life”.
I lay here holding him, feeling him breath, knowing what a wonderful path lies ahead for him; for us all as a family.
I lay here shedding tears of joy, whispering something I don’t often hear myself say: Thank You, God.
I’ve never been sure where I stand with organized religion…am I Buddhist? Am I Christian? Am I this…or am I that? And I now realize, those names really don’t matter. I lie here tonight certain that a power bigger than us has been watching over this angel of ours. Sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has been blessed, and so have we.
We found out this morning, after 9 months of tests and waiting, that our darling Evy does NOT have any of the forms of leukoencephalopathy that we thought he had, nor does he have any variant of the scarier version; a progressive disease called Leukodystrophy (in which he would regress throughout his life). He has NONE of the scary things the Geneticist thought he had. Not only that, they are beyond pleased with his progress!! He even high-fived the Dr’s as we left the appt!
Now, we get to ENJOY HIM. We get to smile with our whole hearts knowing that this little man is here for the long haul!!
Whatever other label we may find in the future to explain why he has certain brain abnormalities (if they are even still there the next time we do an MRI!!), it doesn’t much matter, really. The name doesn’t hold much merit anymore for us, because what matters is that we get to enjoy him for a long and healthy and joyful life time.
The label no longer matters, really.
Just as the label of “Buddhist” or “this” or “not that” also no longer matters to me. I lay here thanking God; thanking the power bigger than us, whoever or whatever that God might be. Thanking God with my whole heart ♥️
Because you see, the label no longer matters.
All that matters is LOVE